Elbow to the Kidney

I offered to go in goal for Bow Badgers for our game yesterday and the offer was gratefully accepted. I was weirdly looking forward to testing myself in a different position, so was rather annoyed to see a message in the WhatsApp group just after midnight that said they had secured the services of a proper goalkeeper. I had been replaced with about 10 hours until kick-off.

Being a team player I turned up and walked up and down the sideline yelling instructions and encouragement. The ‘proper’ goalkeeper couldn’t kick, catch, dive or come off his line without encouragement. Bit of a kick in the bollocks to have been replaced by him, but hopefully if he comes back he improves a lot more.

I think it might be time to start thinking about stepping away from football. I know I’ve said this many times over the past 15 years, but I’ve been relegated to playing Sunday league this season and even that has seen me subbed twice at half time and not even been selected for the last two games.

Tonight I was itching for football training and managed to do the running sessions without my knee screaming at me to stop. We were doing some defending and I managed to get in front of one of our big strikers and he gave me a little nudge, but instead of doing it with his forearm he did it with his elbow and instead of into my back he elbowed me in my kidney area. Fuck me that didn’t half hurt!

I spent the rest of the training hobbling around holding my back. Some found this funny as it is usually other players that come off worse when going up against me. The heartless bastards.

Coming home I almost fell off the platform at Beckton as some cunt had dropped a bottle of red wine on the platform and had simply walked away and left it there for me to slip on.


I am running the 2018 London Marathon to raise money for Livability UK in memory of my dad. If you can I'd appreciate any donation you can spare. http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/deansaliba
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Dean Saliba is a freelance writer, professional blogger, media enthusiast, dirty football player and huge professional wrestling fan who covers a wide range of subjects and niches including, making money online, traffic generating, pro wrestling, blog reviews, football, how-to guides, music, internet marketing and more.