The doubts that I was hoping would not come have suddenly started to materialise and it happened without much warning. I had a feeling it would happen at some point but I was still unprepared for just how bad I feel now that these doubts have entered my mind.

I’m determined to stay in my current good mood though. I know I have made the right decision to push this person out of my life and when these doubts creep into my mind I will open up the laptop and do some work to try and not dwell on them.

It is working because this week I have done more work than I have done all fucking year!

Not only am I diving into work I am also looking to get out of the house a couple of times a week. Maybe to a gig or two. I have found plenty of free comedy shows and music gigs around London that are only a short bus or train ride from me.

Tomorrow night I’m going to the pub with Reiss and then on Saturday I’m going to watch Bethnal Green Celtic play a friendly match. I was meant to be going to Seaford for the weekend but that is only 30 miles from Hastings and the urge to jump on a train to see this person would be too strong to resist.

As I was getting dressed this morning I caught sight of myself in the mirror and it looks like I have lost some weight. I am very chuffed about this, especially as I have done it without using any of my previous pills or potions like noxycut.


I am running the 2018 London Marathon to raise money for Livability UK in memory of my dad. If you can I'd appreciate any donation you can spare.
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Dean Saliba is a freelance writer, professional blogger, media enthusiast, dirty football player and huge professional wrestling fan who covers a wide range of subjects and niches including, making money online, traffic generating, pro wrestling, blog reviews, football, how-to guides, music, internet marketing and more.