I was woken by someone in the room next door slamming their door as they made their way down to breakfast, I had a shower and almost got stuck because the shower was very small, it had nothing to do with me being a fat bastard.

I took a seat in the dining room by a big bay window and was so busy soaking in the fantastic view that I did not notice the landlord standing next to me repeatedly asking me what I fancied, he ended up having to poke me in the arm to grab my attention. It was a lovely view though.

I had a massive English breakfast, which was better than I have had in most cafes. While I was waiting for my food to arrive I ear-wigged what an elderly couple were talking about on the table next to me and I couldn’t help but smile when the lady got really excited about treating herself to some fried bread, she actually bounced in her chair with the excitement.

After breakfast I returned to my room to pack my things, before I left I decided to use the toilet so I would not have a repeat of what happened last time I was down this way. It wasn’t until I was actually sitting on the toilet that I noticed the window was opposite and there were no curtains or blinds to stop the houses opposite looking at me on the loo. I went to close the door but then released there was no door! I wonder how many people looked out of their windows this morning only to see me having a shit.

I decided not to hang about and got the train back to London, I spent the entire time looking out of the window at the glorious sunshine making the scenery look even more beautiful, even the horrid tower blocks that signalled our arrive in London looked rather nice.

Why were there loads of really fat women wearing pink clothes and massive pink hats all over the place? Coming from Seaford to Bethnal Green I must have encountered thousands of them.