I would like to apologise if this post is a bit too graphic for some of you. I was watching the Millwall/Middlesbrough game on SKY this evening when at half time I needed to have a poo, the problem was it wouldn’t come out, it became very painful and after nearly an hour of trying (and almost crying) I decided not to try anymore. I took some pills my dad uses that helps him poo and all they did was make me push more and cause me even more pain.
It felt like something the size of a house was trying to vacate my arse, a few female friends said this is the kind of pain they go through when giving birth, whatever is trying to exit through my anus is a hell of a lot bigger than a baby, even a fully grown adult wouldn’t hurt that much, and if I was able to give birth then I would do it with incredible ease just like all men would. 🙂
I eventually phoned my doctor who told me that I had something which I like to call super constipation, a massive blockage that was probably bigger than anything to have ever been found in a bowel before. All I can do is wait for the shops to open tomorrow and get some laxatives to help break it down.
I wonder what the chances are of my sister popping into Boots before she dumps her spoilt little daughter on me for a few hours?
I am running the 2018 London Marathon to raise money for Livability UK in memory of my dad. If you can I'd appreciate any donation you can spare. http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/deansaliba